How Make a Social Phone Call

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have a reason for calling to make it easier. Use a specific reason
such as finding out a piece of information
or something more general
such as just wanting to catch up. For example
your reason could be wanting to know when a meeting youre both going to is happening tomorrow.Alternatively
your reason could be checking in with the person to see how theyre doing.Make notes on what you want to say. If youre worried your mind will go blank when you make the call
jot down a couple of topics you want to cover on a piece of paper. That way
you have them in front of you.Dont write out everything you want to say
as your speech will sound stilted to the other person. Just write down main ideas.Cut back on distractions by moving to a quiet area. Even if youre just making a social call
distractions can make a call more difficult. Turn off the television and radio. Move away areas where people are talking in the background. Greet the person and ask how theyre doing. When the person picks up
start with a simple greeting. Follow it with a question to get the conversation going
such as asking how the person is doing. The other person will usually pick up on the cue and start talking. For example
you could say
"Hey
whats up?"You could also say
"Hi! How are you doing?" or "Hi! What have you been up to lately?"Ask if its a good time to talk. You may feel uncomfortable on the phone if youre not sure the other person wants to talk. Take the pressure off by asking about it near the beginning of the conversation. For example
you could say
"Do you have a few minutes to talk?" or "Am I catching you at a bad time?"Tell the person why you called if the conversation lags. Saying why you called usually gets the conversation going. Plus
youll feel less awkward because you have stated why youre on the phone. For instance
you could say
"I hope you dont mind me calling. I just havent heard from you in a while. How have you been?"On the other hand
you could say
"Im calling because I wanted to find out more about the meeting we have together tomorrow
" if youre calling to find out information.Ask the person about their interests. If you cant figure out what to say
try getting the person to talk about themselves. Ask them about something you know interests them. If youre not sure what interests them
ask a more general question to help learn their interests. Try asking them about their family or pets. You could say
"How has Fluffy been lately?"Alternatively
you might say
"Have you read a good book lately?" or "Have you seen a movie you liked recently?"Listen closely and focus on the conversation. When youre on the phone
you dont have a persons facial expressions to tell you whats going on with them. That means you have to listen more closely so you can respond to what theyre saying. Try to picture what the person is saying visually
which can help you stay focused. Focus on what the other person is saying instead of thinking about what you want to say.Try not to get distracted by things in your own environment
like other people
your computer
and so on.Respond to what they say and take turns speaking. When the person finishes what theyre saying
add your own thoughts to it. Then
ask them a question in turn to keep the conversation going. Remember not to interrupt with your own thoughts! Wait until theyre done speaking to add your input.For example
if the person says
"I love going to the park. Its so bright and beautiful this time of year." You could say
"Yes
it is lovely. I love seeing all the beautiful blooms. Whats your favorite flower?"Use open-ended questions to encourage them to talk. Open-ended questions are ones the person must answers with more than a "yes" or "no" answer. Using 1 or 2 leaves room for the person to say more. For instance
dont say
"Have you heard from your brother lately?" They can answer with "yes" or "no." Instead
ask
"How has your brother been lately?" That question gives them a chance to expand on the answer.Express your emotions using words instead of facial expressions. When you talk to someone in person
you express some things with facial expressions and body language. For example
you might look sad when theyre talking about something sad. On the phone
though
you have to say those things instead since the person cant see you. Say aloud that you notice the other person is sad
or that youre upset theyre feeling bad. For instance
if the person is telling you about a terrible experience
you could say
"Oh thats awful. Im so sorry that happened to you."Prepare questions for pauses in the conversation. Sometimes
the conversation will lag. Thats normal with any conversation
but it can be more awkward on the phone. Remind yourself that it happens to everyone
and then try to come up with a new question to ask the person.For instance
you could say
"Have you heard about the town meeting next Thursday?" or "Did you know were supposed to get a snowstorm this weekend?"Wind down the conversation when youre ready to get off the phone. If the conversation is lagging
you may want to get off the phone. Let the person know youre ready to go
and say goodbye.For instance
you could say something like
"It was so good talking to you. I hope we get to do this again soon." That lets the person know youre ready to go.If youre just setting up a social visit with someone
your phone call likely wont last more than 15 minutes. If youre catching up with an old friend you havent talked to in a while
the call might last closer to 45 minutes to an hour.Practice calling people youre comfortable with to build confidence. Call a family member or a close friend regularly. The more you do it
the more comfortable youre likely to feel on the phone. Start with people you feel more comfortable with. Alternatively
try calling a phone you know will have a recording.Work up to more difficult phone calls to start overcoming your fear. After practicing with people youre comfortable with
try people youre less comfortable with. Work up your ladder of anxiety to help yourself become more comfortable step-by-step. For instance
try calling a friend you like but youve never talked to on the phone.Next
try calling a new friend who you have only met a few times in person.Imagine a successful call in the past to calm yourself. Sometimes
if youre freezing up
thinking about call that went well can give you confidence. For instance
maybe you made it through a whole call without getting tongue-tied. Keep that call in mind as you start a new phone call to remind yourself you can be successful. Alternatively
imagine the call youre about to make. Picture it going just as you want.You dont have to be perfect on the phone. If youre making a social call
youre usually talking to people you like. They know you and will forgive any "mistakes" you make. In fact
they likely wont even notice some of the mistakes you think youre making.Picture the person in your head as you talk to give yourself visual cues. You may have trouble talking on the phone because you dont have visual cues from the other person. Youre just hearing a voice without a person attached. To help with this issue
create your own visual cues using the persons face. Picture the person smiling or with another benign facial expression.Use relaxation techniques like deep breathing to calm yourself down. Try a deep breathing exercise before you start the call. Once youre on the phone
try some deep breaths when youre feeling stressed. For example
try deep breathing before you make the phone call. Close your eyes
and breathe in to the count of 4. Hold the breath for 4 counts
then breathe out to the count of 4. Repeat several times to calm yourself down.Another option is to use a visualization technique before you make a phone call. Using all your senses
imagine yourself somewhere that relaxes you
such as the beach. Try to stay in that relaxed place as you make the phone call.Talk to a therapist if your fear is affecting your life. If your phone anxiety is severe and you have other social anxieties
a therapist can help. Many people use therapists to overcome anxiety issues so dont feel like youre the only one. The therapist can help you through your anxiety and perhaps refer you to a psychiatrist for medication.